Have you ever felt like your life resembles a scene from the movies?
There’s the one where you’re riding your bike through the neighborhood at age seven, fast as you can, and glancing back for signs of The Terminator. And another where your true worth (finally!) shines through and the prince chooses you (yes, you!) over all the other gals in town.
And then, well, there’s this one: you in crowded room, sitting motionless as what seems like the world and all of its inhabitants whiz past and around you.
Not alone, but lonely nonetheless.
We’ve all been there. And it looks like more of us are returning to this scene than in years past. Let’s talk about why.
Feeling Lonely? Join the Club
There’s a song lyric by the band Dr. Dog that says, “What does it take to be lonesome? Nothing at all.” And while this might be a nod to embracing independence, the literal meaning couldn’t be more true.
That’s because, as experts explain, loneliness comes down to perception. You don’t need to meet a specific criteria of isolation — you can be lonely without even being alone.1
The State of Loneliness in America Today
Nearly half of the 20,000 adults surveyed this year reported feelings of loneliness. Common frustrations include:
- “No one really knows me.”
- “Even though other people are with me, they’re not present.”
- “I feel distant and disconnected from others.”2
These findings are concerning — and not just for the obvious reasons.
Loneliness Causes Other Serious Problems
Yes, loneliness is worth addressing in its own right. But you might not realize that, left untouched, loneliness can cause a host of other issues. In fact, researchers found associations between lonely feelings and the increased likelihood of:
Why Are We So Lonely?
Lots of research and educated guesses go into answering this question. Let’s walk through some of the biggest reasons people feel lonely as well as ideas for combating our loneliness triggers:
Loneliness Encourages Us to Practice Our Social Skills
Let’s end on a high note, shall we?
Scientists believe loneliness might just be a kick in the pants from nature — motivation to get out and start interacting with others.1 What a lovely thought.
Just as a pang of hunger reminds us to eat, the sting of loneliness reminds us to pick up the phone, visit a friend and do the hard work it takes to make connections with others. After all, we know that companionship and camaraderie are foundational to our understanding of what it means to be human.3
Be encouraged as you go throughout your life, to let loneliness act as a driving force — an opportunity to practice your social skills. Introduce yourself to new friends, schedule gatherings with old friends and make genuine togetherness a top priority.
By Stephanie Thomas, Contributing Writer
Sources
1 Shankar, Aparna. Loneliness and Health. Oxford Research Encyclopedias, June 2017.
2 Pirani, Fiza. “Why Are Americans So Lonely? Massive Study Finds Nearly Half of US Feels Alone, Young Adults Most of All.” Atlanta Journal-Constitution, May 1, 2018.
3 Persons, Laura. “Lonely? You’re Not Alone.” Healthline, April 12, 2017.
4 Radcliffe, Shawn. “The American Loneliness Epidemic: Are Poor Social Skills to Blame?” Healthline, May 21, 2018.